"You and your generation are SOFT! When I was your age, I was in the Army, getting run around all over the place!! I was a machine!" I was approximating the truth, but I didn't want him to know that.
"Geez, dad, there you go again," he grumbled.
I thought I heard him say sotto voce, "yeah yeah yeah, five miles in the snow, uphill both ways....." but I wasn't entirely sure; my hearing's not what it was.
I blustered further, "I tell you what, I'll turn 45 this July, right after you turn 20 and I bet you I can outdo you in the Army PT Test in two month's time!" Dammit, did I really just say that????? Sheesh, I can't back down now - my kid's whole lives have been filled with stories of how their barrel-chested father (okay, fat father) was a paratrooper. I even sang them Blood on the Risers instead of lullabies before bedtime!
I held my breath. My son, built like me, called me on it. "No way old man! What's the bet, lawn mowing for a few months, you wanna try to take my money?"
"Bragging rights, the purest form of a wager," I shot back. I was committed.
I should be committed, I had two months to get myself whipped into shape. I wasn't worried about beating him in the PT Test (max push-ups in two minutes, max sit-ups in two minutes, followed by a two mile run), I just wanted to survive it all so I could gloat afterward.
I've always been on the heavy side, though I spent two years in the Army and a further six years in the Reserve Forces. I was Infantry most of my time and managed to get into an Airborne unit where I (barely) passed Airborne School and made a total of sixteen jumps before calling it quits.
I ballooned up from there, getting to almost 240 lbs before turning into a work-out maniac, about seven or eight years ago, which culminated in running (and jogging, trotting, striding, walking, crawling, and finally rolling across the finish line) a marathon. I was then 39 and weighed 140 lbs on a 5'7.5" frame.
I'm still almost five foot eight inches tall....and almost the same height laying down. Sigh. This is going to be work.
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When I am I shy old man! You are going to go down! To Hades!
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ReplyDeleteLove this... and looking forward to future progress. I have two daughters (Oldest would smoke me today) but if they were sons I could see myself in your place. I have one (Youngest) that is looking into law enforcement after college, so I might get the chance to get back into shape while enjoying it if there were a challenge. Good luck David and my money is on you!